No Matter What
by Larchyk
Summary: Nishiki ponders his feelings for Kokoro and toys with the concept of love. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own _'N' is for Nishiki_, be it the characters or the situations thay are in. This was written meerly for fun, and I thank Yukiru Sugisaki for creating such a captivating short story. **

**No Matter What**

The sun, in a futile attempt at continuing to reign over the land, put forth a few dismal rays of sunlight over the horizon. But after an hour or so, it gave up, and the advent of night began. The stars, unseen before now, shone brightly, giving light to the now sunless land. The stars were not alone, as the moon, its beauty visible to its fullest, reflected light from the faraway sun onto the earth below.

It was this light that crept through a window and cast a dark shadow upon the two figures within. One figure lie on the bed, her dark hair fanned out around her as she slept. The other figure, however, sat cross-legged on the end of the bed. Aside from the slight rise and fall of his chest, he was perfectly still, and not a sound came from him. The figure was staring at the sleeper intently, and seemed to be deep in thought.

On the bed, the sleeper rolled to adjust her position, and let out a mumbled "Nishiki." That seemed to break his concentration, and bring him to life.

Nishiki ran a hand through his spiked blonde hair, which was paler than usual in the moonlight. His deep mahogany eyes peeled themselves away from the sleeper to take in the moon's wonder. As he stared at the glowing orb, he frowned as he recalled the day's events.

_The demon reared its gruesome head, howling at the girl and her shikigami. Nishiki sprang forward, yelling "Kokoro! Get back!" He didn't watch her go, but instead began chanting the spell that would vanquish the demon. As the spell began to take hold of it, the demon roared, and hurled itself forward. Nishiki remained still, and continued chanting. But the demon had not hurled itself towards Nishiki, as he had thought, but slightly to the right – where a frightened Kokoro stood paralyzed. Nishiki quit his chanting and dived for Kokoro, but to no avail._

"_Nishiki! Help me!" Kokoro screamed as the demon pushed her to the ground. The shikigami heard them land with a sickening thud. Nishiki ran over to them, removed the demon from atop Kokoro, and threw it a few meters away. The demon appeared to be a bit dazed, so Nishiki took a moment to inspect Kokoro. Her body seemed unbroken, but her breathing came in forced gasps, and her eyes were shut. "Ni…shi…ki…" she said, her voice broken._

"_How DARE you?" He roared. Enraged, Nishiki turned to face the demon. "Attack me all you want, but to have hurt Kokoro…You'll pay!" He began his chanting once more, but at a much faster pace, so that the demon had no chance to attack the shikigami before he was finished. _

_Nishiki used his magic to restore Kokoro's breathing to normal, and waited with her until she was fully conscious. The two then returned home, but Nishiki went from annoyingly cheerful to morose. No matter how much Kokoro, her brother, or Kujyo questioned him, he said nothing._

Annoyed, Nishiki punched the wall. He stared at his fist for a moment, and then cradled his hand, his head bowed. "I'm so useless," he said. "It's all my fault Kokoro got hurt. If I had just made sure she had gone, that demon wouldn't have tackled her, and she would've been fine." He sighed. "I'm so stupid. I'm a shikigami, and I'm supposed to protect her, no matter what." He paused. "Guess I shouldn't be surprised if I end up getting sent back. I failed in my purpose; I failed Kokoro." He glanced at his sleeping master. "Kokoro…"

Kokoro continued to sleep. Nishiki began studying her features, from the way her hair lazily fell, the way her body moved ever so slightly as she breathed, to the way her cute, tiny mouth parted as she slept. That mouth…Nishiki often wondered why he found himself drawn to it. She was his master, and as such he had a natural desire to be near her, but this felt different somehow.

While Kokoro was in her classes, Nishiki had taken to reading the books he found in a huge room; Kokoro had called this a library. Within his findings, he had run into the term 'love' very often; from his understanding, it was a very complex emotion, and wasn't fully understood by anyone. From what he had found, the feelings occur when one person wants to be with another very badly, or two people want to be together. Although he was still sketchy on what the "be with" meant, he figured that he had a decent understanding of the concept.

He wondered now if he was 'in love' with Kokoro. That would explain a lot, but he still wasn't sure. To him, being in love meant caring for someone greatly, and wanting to stay with them forever. He did care for Kokoro; he cared for her much more than he felt he should. But did he want to be with her forever? As her shikigami, he had no choice in the matter, but if he did, would he stay with her?

Nishiki remembered when he had hidden from Kokoro, so as not to make her angry. He had been hurt by her yelling, and yet he had consoled her when she was sad not soon after. He also remembered how worried she had been when he had disguised himself as a stuffed rabbit, and how relieved she had felt when she found him. He had been touched by her caring, and had then vowed to watch over her.

The realization came as a blow to Nishiki. Everything seemed much clearer to him now: being drawn to Kokoro, staring at her excessively, even his reaction to the demon earlier. Nishiki was brought back to his pondering of what love really is; even though he knew he felt it now, or rather, had felt it for a while now, he still had no explanation for it. He just…_felt_ it.

Having changed back into his rabbit form, Nishiki settled down to rest, a placid smile on his face. He decided to tell Kokoro about his feelings; someday, when they both were ready to hear it said. Even with the large chance that Kokoro would've found a love interest of her own by that time, he would still tell her. Even if she hadn't, but still didn't return the feelings, he would still tell her. Even on the tiny, fleeting chance that she did, he would still tell her. Kokoro _would_ know Nishiki's feelings, of that much he was sure. Because when Nishiki committed to something, he saw it through – no matter what.


End file.
